The Good, the Bad and the….

February 14, 2009 at 4:04 am (Next Steps, RE) (, )

So sorry I haven’t posted this week.  Work has been nuts, and I think I’m just as equally nuts taking 6 graduate credits at the same time.   Oy, what was I thinking?

Anyhow, DH and I went to see the RE on Wednesday.  Oddly enough, I felt like I had to hold back tears when I arrived in the waiting room.  I’ve accepted the BFN and we’re moving on.  But being back there wasn’t easy.  Maybe it was the sympathetic looks from the nurses – who knows.

The RE asked how I was doing, and I responded with my usual, “Good, fine, just busy”.  I wasn’t really prepared for her to ask, “Are you really ok?  Doing alright there?”.  Again, felt the need to hold back tears but I got through the appointment.

The good news first:  The RE said she found no medical reason why we couldn’t keep trying.  I asked about my estrogen levels (from what one of the nurses said on the phone) and she said that really it was not a factor in why it didn’t work.   The only thing she will be doing different when we start again is that she would not be decreasing the follitism or menopur because she actually found the follicles “hard to suck out and immature”.  She had to leave some follicles because they just simply wouldn’t come out – ha.

The bad news:  I swear we had 8 IVF tries or up to $50,000.00 (whichever comes first) with the insurance coverage.  My DH swears that it was not 8, but a different number.  For some reason, 8 tries just sticks out in my head.   We met with the insurance specialist because we were also hit with a 777.00 bill that day (I do have SOME co-pays to make, and I usually arrived so early in the morning for my blood tests that the bill wasn’t ready in time – and this is also for freezing the 1 embryo).  The insurance specialist said its actually 6 tries or $45,000.  So really, with the current costs, that means probably 4 tries before having to appeal.  That just feels stressful.  I’ve already done one, and I only have 3 left?!?! Yikes.  Now I feel the pressure!

(Now, I know I am so fortunate compared to others when it comes to insurance and not having to pay so much upfront like others.  Seriously, if you are willing to move and work as a teacher for mostly inner-city kids (or your DH or partner) and need the insurance, I will gladly tell you where I live.  The insurance really is that good – and it kicks in the month you are hired.)

And the …. news: There was really no medical reason why the 2 embroys didn’t “stick”.  There was nothing in the blood work or anything during the procedures that would help us do something different next time.  Call it the luck of the draw, the roll of the dice – whatever idiom fits here.   And that kind of just plain sucks.  I’m the type of person who wants to know why, figure it out, fix it and try again.

We talked about the one remaining embryo and trying a FET, but the RE obviously wants us to produce more embryos.   We are looking at starting cycle 1 again (the BC pills and Lupron) in March.  Hopefully by then I will have the new job where I can work from home and things overall will be less stressful!!  *fingers crossed!*

Thank you all who left kind and supportive comments,  along with the  emails as well, sharing your experiences and advice.  I truely appreciate the time and effort.  I can be a worrier, so this really made me feel a little more at ease.

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